Best way to learn NLP
However, just watching the behavior is not enough. Behavior is only the surface. You can only learn someone’s behavior if you have the same beliefs and values, goals and ideas as the person whose behavior you are trying to learn. There is a powerful technique in NLP that outlines these factors in such a way that you can integrate them into your own system. We call this technique ‘modeling’. Modeling is copying other people’s successful behavior, in doing and thinking. It allows you to learn why other people are good at what they do and then copy that behavior. Modeling is such a powerful technique that you cannot only apply it to yourself, but you can also pass the result on to others.
If someone else can do it, you can do it.
While there are plenty of differences between people, we also share a great number of characteristics. One of these is that we only use about 5-10% of our full potential. In other words, we are capable of a lot more than we give ourselves credit for. At least 10-20 times more, in fact. Research shows that successful people do not owe their success to some inborn talent but to the application of the characteristics and techniques we discuss in my free e-book on the right.
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This means that if someone else can do something, so can you. You just need to know ‘how’. To answer this question, you need to know what beliefs, values and goals the other person has. What someone thinks and feels to get a result. The “expert” who performs a behavior that you would like to perform, is usually subconsciously skilled in the behavior. Without being aware of it, he thinks in a specific way that makes him successful at that what he is doing.
How do you model?
To be successful, you have to know what behavior you would like to be good at. Next, you also need to know a person who is already able and doing what you would like to learn. If you want to learn how to give a presentation in a good, clear and humorous way, it is important that you know a good role model; someone who can already do this. I was talking to an NLP coach who modelled a comedian. She mapped what a comedian does, thinks and feels to make other people laugh. What she discovered was that every successful comedian has a few (sub)conscious patterns that make them successful. Patterns such as using their body in a certain way, their hands, their eyes and their way of standing, but also tone of their voice, the volume and rhythm. In addition, there are few specific beliefs and values that all comedians share that make people laugh.
You model by taking the following steps:
- Observe your model
- Discover the difference that makes the difference,
- Test your findings on yourself